Question 1

What is gender open parenting?

Accepted Answer

Gender open parenting is about letting a child define their own gender and sex from birth.  A gender neutral pronoun (often they/them/theirs) is used instead of he or she, until that child identifies their own gender/sex/pronoun.  Gender open parenting often also includes legal strategies for creating a gender open identification on passports and birth certificates, if possible.

Question 2

What's a theyby?

Accepted Answer

A theyby is a cute term for the kids of parents doing gender open parenting.  And no, we don't really think our theyby isn't a baby.  :)

Question 3

But isn't your child really a boy or a girl?

Accepted Answer

We won't know until they tell us!  As humans, we have boiled down a huge range of possibilities into two tiny boxes.  Body parts are given meaning by society as a whole- and not everyone with those parts experience their body in the same way.

Question 4

What words can I use instead of boy or girl?

Accepted Answer

We're so used to gendering kids, it can be hard to come up with alternatives to "boy" or "girl"  Here are some options:
 
kiddo, cutie, munchkin, tot, baby, infant, little one, their name, child
 
and for relationships:
 
sibkid or nibling instead of niece or nephew
grandchild instead of granddaughter or grandson
child, baby, kid or tot instead of son/daughter
class, friends or folks instead of 'boys and girls'

Question 5

What's the difference between gender open parenting, gender neutral parenting, gender creative parenting and other terms?"

Accepted Answer

For some people, there is no difference between these names and they are used interchangeably.  For other people, the name they use is important and they use it for a reason.  Try to use whatever term a family uses for themselves.  This site uses gender open parenting because it means to leave a child's gender open until the child determines it for themself.

Question 6

How can I show support for someone I know doing gender open parenting?

Accepted Answer

Thanks for asking!  Here are some ways to show support:
 
-using they/them/their as a pronoun for the child until you are told otherwise
-read and learn more on your own about gender open parening
-talking to your friends/families/colleagues about the benefit of gender open parenting

Question 7

I have more questions- how can I find answers to them?

Accepted Answer

Asking questions is great although not everyone will have the time or energy to respond.  Be mindful of the relationship you have with the family and also what you know about how the family feels about responding to questions before you ask.  You can also submit your question to theybyparenting@gmail.com and we'll post it as well as an answer on the site!  Another option is to do research for yourself-- check out the 'resources' tab for great articles, websites, books, and videos!

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